i miss you-

YSunday, April 06, 2008

damn you! it's my life and you have no right to control it! i lead my own life! as long as i'm not doing anything immoral or my 良心无愧, who are you to care? as long as i'm conscientious in my work, who are you to care too? you may say that i'd regret it in the future, but who are you to bother? it's my life, if i really regret it, it's my fault and not yours! i'd pay for my actions! i'm not one who'd not run away from responsibility, reality and punishments. shouldn't you know me by now? SCREW YOU! and i've had enough of acting like an obedient girl! J'EN AI ASSEZ!!!!!

missing you- 12:45 pm

YSaturday, April 05, 2008

zzz.. just don't seem to have the inspiration for the blogskin.. any suggestion, people?

missing you- 7:04 pm

ohwells... i've cried multiple times today.. 1st time when my dad was talking to mr liu and second time while my dad was talking to mr teo.. well, i can't stand to hear teachers talking about me actually.. i'd just break down, even if the teacher is not berating me.. and it's not the first time i broke down because a teacher talked about me.. it happened in primary school before and i just broke down. whatever.. i'm a crybaby.. plus, i just cannot take failure.. like, come on? my first encounter with failure in academics was when i was in sec 2.. that's a bit late for me to get adjusted to failing. perhaps, if i've met with failure since young or more often when i was young, i'd not have such adverse reactions to it and would have taken failures in my stride.. i've never ever scored below 38.5/50 for tests and my lowest for any subject in an examination was a 84/100(overall). and even back then, i was crying when i got 38.5/50 for tests, 84/100 for the subject in my exams and when i didn't make it to the top 10 in class.. well, i guess living in a "perfect world" for 13 years, the word "failure" didn't exist until i was in sec 2.. it's only been 2 years since i've encountered failures and i'm still not used to them.. ok, i've to admit that i'm slow when it comes to adjusting.. i don't like change, unless it's for good or it's a change which abolishes what i dislike and implementing something that i advocate.. and i'm "investing" what free time i have on thu with mr teo.. so that he can try to help me in my physics. i just feel... insecure without my notes i guess.. so i constantly second-guess and doubt myself.. which is why i don't do well in my physics tests and exams.. i've been getting this inferiority complex thingy since i entered rv i guess.. grrr.. i hate myself. why do i always hesitate before i do anything? it's supposed to be good isn't it? as in, well, i look before i leap, i think of the consequences before i act.. but i guess i've been hesitating too much.. to the extent that i self-doubt.. even when i'm in choir.. i seriously hate it.. but i cannot stop myself.. hais.. shall try making another blogskin before i pia EoM..am i so unworthy of your love?

missing you- 4:46 pm

YFriday, April 04, 2008

heyys! i'm back!!! had phy test n bio test tdy.. bio paper was easier than i expected, phy was quite hard D; and mr teo still dare to tell me don't get too nervous during the test. wth.. and my mind totally blanked out while doing phy test x/ do you think i won't get nervous when the paper's so hard and my mind blanks out? it's so easy for him to tell me not to be nervous but i cannot control it right? i think i'll fail phy T.T

missing you- 9:10 pm

YTuesday, April 01, 2008

Hais.. Sit and Reach sucks!!!! Pull me down, now i cannot get my silver.. T.T Ohwells... Here are my NAPFA results:

#o1 2.4km run: 14.33min (B) xD
#o2 Sit Ups: 33 (A) xD
#o3 Standing Broad Jump: 165cm (D) ;)
#o4 Sit and Reach: 34cm (E) zzz.. T.T
#o5 Incline Pull Up: 7 (D) xD
#o6 Shuttle Run: 11.7s (C) xD

Total points: 17

Stupid.. Because of Sit and Reach, i failed to get my SILVER. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wasted my effort to run so fast for my 2.4km T.T Though i didn't purposely run very fast for it. & i only needed another 2cm!!!!!!!!!
!#@$%%*&)_*&##^%&!@#$
lols xP

Hais.. Bio and Phy tests this friday.. Sure fail.. x/ Walao eh.. Are they stupid or what? Put 2 tests on friday, both are sciences somemore.. Kns.. Fail either of them and both will suan me again.. Zzz.. Whatever lar.. My sciences so lousy, don't know why i took triple science in the first place..

Sianz.. Damn pissed.. My mama is at the next computer, doing her own homework. For once. Yes, for ONCE. However, she practically bothers me with questions like whether she can say this, whether she can say that; how to spell this, how to spell that; damn irritating lar! walao eh! tak cek tak gao an ni pai mia mai tak lar! an ni ma huan? li siong wa jin eng arh? Which is precisely why i'm going back into my room after i finish this post to sleep. Oh, by the way people, i slept at 8pm last night and only woke up at 4.20am this morning. So pro right? I told you that i've been very tired for the past few days, didn't i? And i think i'll go to school on the days when i see her sitting in front of the computer in the morning. Because i know my veins will burst one day if she continues to ask me endless stupid questions.. =X ok. bbyes~ gd night!

P.S.: Thanks Diamond for buying me the Corrinne May album!!! xD

missing you- 10:07 pm